I remember most of my dreams. They're mostly about things from my past and the things that are internally bothering me. It's like a little reminder for my mind to work on issues I always push aside. However, the one thing I think is weird about dreaming, at least for me, is that I have never seen myself in my own dreams. It makes me wonder like what I look like and how my mind interprets things.

I believe true strength comes within yourself. It's the things you have dealt with and succeeded. Things that have been so difficult for yourself, that you have overcomed; being able to stick for what you believe in and never feel degraded from another human being.

Ever since we were younger, we were taught that you cannot give your heart to someone else until you love yourself first. I believe that this is true. A Marriage will not last if you are unable to understand yourself and love yourself because then it makes it hard to deceifer what you really are looking for in your soulmate. However, what about the people who are married with depression? Their outer body shows their sadness and struggle, but their vibe attracts others? Do their mates believe that they will be able to help them? A lot of people in relationships believe that they can fix others, but how is that healthy for them? If they do not succeed, their love slides away. So, in my conclusion, love cannot succeed if you do not learn to love yourself. Loving yourself gives you the power to give your partner your whole self.

I want to be the person who is able to deal with the horrors in my past and not let it effect my life but to learn from it and live a better one. I leave my wounds open and hold this wall up, not letting the problems I had effect me but it eats me up inside. I want to be able to deal with the problems that overcome me. If I am able to live my life to the fullest, not holding back because of issues, I'd feel like I have succeeded in life.

I believe the hardest thing to change relies within yourself. You're effected by something that hurt you deeply so now it changes your whole outlook on that aspect and you're unable to change it it feels like. It took your happiness, feelings, emotions and soul away that you feel you have nothing left. It's harder to just learn from that thing that hurt you deeply because you're scared to reopen that wound and make yourself vulnerable to that situation.

I do my best thinking right before I go to bed. I'm sitting in my room, scrambling with how to control the thoughts and struggles in my mind so I'll write poetry to get it out. It calms my soul and gives me the ability to rest.

All my life, my family has been apart of the army or marines and now there's a new article about over 50% of the soldiers who went to Iraq or Afghanistan have PTSD. My brother has been in the army for about 3 years now and now they are contemplating whether or not his unit should be stop-lossed again and be sent back to Afghanistan. It makes sense that over 50% of the soldiers have PTSD, but at the same time it's so upsetting. War effects the ones fighting for our country more than us. They are putting their lives on the line for us and they're struggling with their innerselves. The horrors they see are so upsetting. We don't give these soldiers enough credit for what they are doing for our country. There should be an award given to each and every soldier.